Eternal Heartbreak
by Azuria Tayutama
Summary: Lightning loves Serah more than anyone else. Even if it is wrong. And there is no way Serah is feeling the same way about her... Is it going to be an eternal sorrow? An eternal heartbreak? Lightning/Serah. Incest. Yuri. Oneshot?


**A/N:** Hello!

This story takes place just **before** the start of Final Fantasy XIII. Nothing happened yet.

It's a **Lightning/Serah** oneshot. You don't like it, don't read it.

I have to mention this: I'm a French girl who's still learning English a bit, so pardon me for the mistakes I make.

But hey, enjoy!

* * *

Snow Villiers. A name that disgusted Lightning. A name she didn't want to hear from her sister's mouth. But she was talking about him, about how he was her hero, about how he saved her from a bunch of delinquent guys. Every time Serah talked about how 'great' he was, the soldier would just nod and keep silent, but deep inside, anger was burning, ready to explode. She clenched her fists and gulped, as she tried to restrain her deep anger. Her deep jealousy. But that, she tried to deny it. She tried to deny why she was so angry. She tried to deny why she hated Snow that much.

"...and then, he took my hand and kissed it. Can you believe it, Lightning? He seems to be such a rough guy, but I know that, deep inside, he is really nice." Her little sister said in thought, daydreaming, a cup of tea between her hands. She was seated on their large sofa, legs crossed.

Lightning gulped once more. It was painful. Extremely painful. But she showed no sight of her sadness. She was hiding it, replacing it by anger. She couldn't take it anymore. "Enough!" She suddenly shouted in her cold, sharp voice when Serah opened her mouth to talk about him again. She didn't want to hear about him anymore, but when she saw how her sister seemed shocked by this sudden interruption, she calmed down a bit, "I don't want to hear about him anymore, is that clear? I don't want to see him in our house as well." She clearly said, looking straight into those confused blue eyes.

"But why...? He hasn't done anything wrong! He truly is a nice guy! He said he'll do everything to protect me!" She exclaimed, obviously pained that her older sister didn't seem to like him.

Lightning clenched her fists harder. "I already said I'll protect you. Isn't that enough? You don't need him." She murmured, turning her back to her. "Finish your tea and go to bed. It's late."

Serah bit her lower lip. She looked down, took a small sip of the cold liquid and cleared her throat. "What if I have a crush on him?"

That simple question was enough to bring Lightning in a deep shock state that soon turned into deep sorrow. "...Go to bed." It was her only way to escape that painful situation. It was the only way to not show to her the sadness -no, the weakness that was invading her right now.

"But Lightning, I'm not tired, I..."

"Go. Right now." She said in the harsh voice she was using when she commended to the people with who she worked with to do something and it always succeeded to make her obey her. Head down, Serah deposed her cup on the table next to the sofa and slammed her -their- bedroom door shut, without saying a single word. Lightning ruffled her own pink hair. She wanted to cry. But a soldier never cries. Today had been her only day off and she had thought about spending it with her little sister, but everything had turned into a disaster because of that damn Snow.

She also knew what kind of feeling she had for her sister. She wasn't stupid. But she was stupid enough to deny them. It was love. Not the kind of love you should feel for a member of a family. No, it was the love that gives you butterflies in the stomach, the one that makes your heart beat faster, the one that everyone wants to feel. But it was sinful. Serah was a woman, but most of all, she was her little sister.

Lightning took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She knew about her preference for women and it wasn't bothering her a single bit. But incest... Just that word disgusted her. What would her sister think of her? She knew Serah was the kind of girl who accepted and respected everything, but for Etro's sake, would she still respect her if she told her? Probably not. Who would? It was disgusting, totally unacceptable. But she couldn't help it. When she was seeing Serah's smile, it was as if a sudden burst of joy filled her soul. When she was talking to her, it was as if nothing else mattered, but her. When they were hugging, her heart would beat like it never did before. When she was looking at Serah's body, her own body would start burning in excitement. It was love. A thing she never thought she would feel. A thing, that in the past, she would find stupid, a thing that she would call a 'waste of time'. But it was, in reality, the greatest feeling that existed, but it also was the most painful one.

Lightning shook her head and bit her lower lip. Maybe she had been too harsh on Serah, after all. But Snow didn't deserve her at all! Serah was so kind, so fragile, so sensitive... And that stupid guy was too much of a macho for her. "Ugh... I hate this!" She growled out, clenching her shirt where her heart hurt. It was painful. Even more painful than losing a battle. Even more painful than a physical injury. It was an heart-break. And she knew it was going to be an eternal heartbreak. There was no way Serah would accept her feelings...

She punched the wall with her fists. She won't cry. She definitely... won't cry... But then, why a tear was running down her cheek at the moment? She was weaker than she thought... And she hated it...

"L-Lightning...?" A very worried voice suddenly spoke, and Lightning immediately wiped her tear away, meeting with confused and worried deep blue eyes. "Were you crying...?" She hesitantly asked.

The soldier straightened herself and shook her head. "I told you to go to sleep..." She murmured with a cold voice even though it was slightly trembling.

"B-But... Claire..."

She was using her first name now... and every time she did, it would make her heart ache. "Lightning." She corrected her and looked away, a slight blush on her face. Serah was only wearing a transparent white t-shirt. She wasn't even wearing a bra. She could see everything... But they were sisters and innocent as Serah was, she wouldn't even think that this could 'interest' Lightning.

"Lightning... You were crying, weren't you?" Her little sister asked worriedly, as she hesitantly approached her. "W-What's wrong? I never saw you cry before... It must be important..." She whispered and deposed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Please, tell me..."

That hand on her shoulder was more than a simple touch. It made her shiver. "...It's late... And you have a lot of things to do tomorrow, so you should rest..."

Serah looked hurt and even more worried. "Why you won't tell me, Lightning...? Why are you always trying to hide your feelings to me...? Did something happen at work?"

The older pinkette shook her head. "You won't understand."

Serah looked down. "Ever since I met Snow, you're acting weird. You're colder and distant. You hate him that much? Or is it the fact I might have feelings for him?" She seriously asked and suddenly hugged her older sister. "Really, you're like a mother to me, Lightning. You're overprotective. It's like you want to protect me from bad guys, but he isn't a bad one, I promise you."

The soldier calmed herself down a bit into the hug and wrapped her arms around her slim waist, pulling her closer to her body. "You won't understand... You never will..." She repeated and lost herself into her strawberry perfume, as she buried her face into her shoulder. It had been a while since the last time she shared such a hug with her. And as always, her heart started to beat faster, as she wished for more. And she cursed that Snow because he will be able to do so much more than she can.

"You'll see... I'll invite him home for dinner tomorrow and you'll see by yourself..."

But Lightning didn't want that. She didn't even want to see his face. "Right." She sighed and forced a smile, which cheered her sister up.

"I'm sure you'll like him, really!"

And Lightning was sure to hate him. To hate him as she never hated someone else before. "But time to go bed, you rebel girl." She playfully grabbed Serah in bridal style, which made her laugh. "I've told you to go sleep, didn't I? Maybe I should punish you..." She sneered out, and gently deposed her on their bed. She then tickled her sister's sides who started to struggle and laugh. Even if she didn't seem hurt anymore, she still was, but she was good enough to hide it.

Once they were tired about their tickle fight, they both went to sleep. Before closing the light off, Lightning removed her clothes. She always slept in her underwear. And she knew that right now her sister was looking at her back. It had scars from previous fights. "Lightning..." Serah murmured worriedly and approached her. An hesitant finger was then traveling her back, explorimg her skin, her scars... It made her shiver... Then, she felt the same finger moving up her hips, sending electric waves through her body. It felt wrongly nice... "I wish you weren't a soldier..." She whispered painfully.

Lightning shook her head, trying not to think about the finger that was still traveling her back. "I'm doing it for you, Serah... If it wasn't me about being a soldier, you wouldn't even live a proper life..." She sternly spoke. Since their parents' death, Lightning promised herself that she will do everything to make her little sister happy.

"I know, but I'm constantly worried about you, even though I know you're strong..." She mumbled and suddenly started to massage her shoulders tenderly. Lightning bit her lower lip and restrained a moan. It felt... good... She really liked how her delicate and skilled hands knew exactly which muscles to massage. "Hey, Lightning?"

The older woman practically couldn't answer, lost in the moment. "Mm?"

"Do you like someone?" Serah innocently asked, her hands going lower, only to massage some other muscles. "Or are you even interested in love at all?"

Lightning let out a sigh of content. "Right there, Serah..." She said, before answering her questions by a simple answer. "That's personal." She could feel her pout behind her. She didn't seem satisfied by this answer.

"Come on, Lightning! I'm your sister! You can tell me those things!" She exclaimed, her hands pressing harder into her back, and Lightning couldn't restrain a slight groan, which made her giggle. "If that's personal, then, you must hide something! Who is she?"

Lightning gasped heavily. She used 'she'. How did she know? She looked away slightly. "How do you know?" She asked a bit coldly.

Serah looked confused for a while and then chuckled by understanding what she meant. "We are together since we're young. Of course I would know about this. You always looked at women with such curiosity in your eyes..." She explained, continuing to massage her as she noticed Lightning wasn't restraining her low moans anymore. "It doesn't bother me. You can like whoever you want... So tell me now, who is she? Do I know her?"

Lightning bit her lower lip. "It's none of your business..."

Serah sighed. "Fine, fine... But Cl-... Lightning, if you really like someone... I just don't want you to abandon me..." She murmured a bit sadly and suddenly stopped to massage her.

"Of course I won't. I'll always be with you... But tell me that you won't abandon me either..." Lightning spoke and turned around. She hesitantly caressed her sister's cheek who immediately smiled. "I need you, Serah..." She added in a serious tone of voice.

The younger sister seemed surprised at first, but smiled tenderly. "I need you too, Lightning. You're like my other half. If I were to lose you, I think I would kill myself..."

"Don't say something like that ever again!" Lightning shouted, really angry, "I won't die, but if I ever do, you won't do anything to yourself. Promise me this."

Serah bit her lower lip and nodded, before lowering her gaze. "It's just... I can't imagine being without you..."

"You have Snow now..." Lightning groaned out, jealous. Oh, how she really hated him...

"But you're more important than him!"

The soldier's eyes widened slightly. "Serah..." She whispered, a bit surprised. She didn't know she was that important for her sister, but maybe that was because she was seeing her as a mother. That was probably it. "You're really important to me too." _Oh, more important than you would think. You're not just my little sister to me. You're a lot more than that, believe me..._

And then, they shared a hug. An intimate hug, as Lightning took a deep breath of her sister's intoxicating scent. "I love you..." The older woman suddenly whispered into Serah's strawberry hair.

"I love you too, Claire..."

Their words were the same, but their meaning was probably different. Serah probably loved her as a sister, but Lightning loved her as much more than that. And it was painful. She wished they wouldn't be sisters. But then again, they were still both women. And Serah was straight.

It was an impossible love. An eternal heartbreak.

Lightning bit her lower lip and regretfully pulled away from their hug. "Tomorrow, I'll be leaving for a long time..." She whispered a bit sadly and caressed her sister's cheek who rubbed her face into it. "Some weeks. Or maybe even some months. I want you to take care of yourself. I'll call you when I'll have some spare times."

Serah seemed sad and awfully disappointed. "I don't want you to leave... I feel so lonely when you're not here..."

"I have no choice. If I don't accept that mission, I'll lose my job. And I don't want to take that risk."

"I know..."

Lightning sighed and hesitantly kissed her sister's forehead. "Don't make that sad face. I'll come back with a surprise, I promise." She sincerely said and it succeeded to cheer her up.

"That better be true!" Serah joked slightly, which made Lightning laugh a bit. Serah was the only person that was able to make her smile or laugh. She was making her the happiest woman. "I like to see you laugh..." She murmured with a smile full of tenderness. The older woman blushed slightly and didn't say anything. She had a shy side when it was about Serah, but of course, she preferred to hide it.

They looked into each other eyes for a long time. Lightning knew that when she'll leave tomorrow, the only thing she will think about was her sister. She was giving her the strength to fight. She was her reason for fighting. Because she wanted to make her happy. She wanted to protect her. "Serah..." She softly whispered and slowly drew her face closer. It didn't matter anymore if it was wrong or not. She wanted to kiss her. Right now. And she couldn't restrain herself anymore. She wanted her sister like she never wanted anyone before. Even if it was wrong.

Their lips finally met for the first time. It had been just a simple peck, but it had been enough for Lightning to think that she can't return back anymore. She was madly in love with Serah. That simple kiss proved it. She felt tears in her eyes, as she looked away from Serah's shocked face, ashamed. "I'm sorry, Serah..." She weakly whispered. "It's disgusting, isn't it?" She closed her eyes. Her sister was completely silent, probably too shocked to even say a word.

But before she knew it, Lightning was drew back into a chaste kiss. The soldier's eyes widened. Serah... Serah was kissing her! Lightning suddenly calmed down, her heart beating faster than it never had before. They kissed deeply, passionately, feverishly... Just like if it had been restrained for so long. Not even a word was exchanged.

They didn't need to say their feelings to each other. Because that deep kiss was explaining everything. They loved each other. They loved each other more than they loved anyone...

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Lightning groaned when the morning sun burned her eyes. She looked at the hour and cursed. She was going to be late! And Lightning never was late! She got up from the bed, not caring about her completely exposed naked body. She turned her gaze, expecting to see Serah next to her, but she wasn't. Then, she remembered: her sister always wakes up very early.

She rapidly grabbed her soldier clothes and headed to the kitchen. No sight of Serah. Where was she? She looked everywhere, but she was no where to be found! Was she regretting their exhausting night? Lightning would have liked to talk about it, to talk about what happened before leaving, but she was already late and she couldn't find her... They didn't talk about it last night. They silently made love to each other. They had been afraid to talk. Afraid to break the moment.

And Lightning left for work, worried and sad.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

The soldier had called Serah many times, but her sister had not answered to her calls one single time, which had been worrying Lightning like crazy.

And now, she was returning home, a surprise in her hands. The surprise she promised to give to Serah when she'll be back. It was a bracelet in crystal.

She opened the door of her house, hoping Serah was waiting for her. Hoping she was alright.

But her eyes widened widely. The fragile bracelet fell down on the floor, as it broke.

Right in front of her, Serah and Snow were kissing...

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, guys. I don't know if I'm cruel enough to end it here. Maybe there will be a sequel. Or maybe not.

If there is a Final Fantasy XIII pairing that I really hate it's Snow/Serah, even if it's an official one (ugh). Serah belongs to Lightning and Lightning belongs to Serah.

Anyway, reviews are very appreciated!


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